FROM THE COLLEGE OF SAINT BUNSTABLE ABOUT THE
OCTOBER 7 1989 RELIC QUEST FEST OF SAINT BUNSTABLE

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A bless'ed martyr known to all
who did in conflagration fall
And took the hair of vikings tall
was saintly Bunstable.

A bless'ed saint and quiet man
did guard the casks with brave élan
And so did foil the pagan plan
oh, Bunstable, brave saint.

A bless'ed fellow who did pray
among the brandy casks that day
Whose miracle blew the fiends away
was saintly Bunstable.

This bless'ed monk to heaven blown
who there received a fluffy throne
Around whom has a legend grown
oh, Bunstable, brave saint.

The pious heard of his renown
and sought in pilgrimage the ground
Where tales of this saint abound
for the true cup of Bunstable.

A pious pilgrim found the thing
and to the saint did praises sing
Then to safety did it bring
relic of a marytr'ed saint.

The pious guarded it with care
and establish'ed a college where
Song and incense fill the air
for the true cup of Bunstable.

A pious mendicant did sneak
upon the one true cup to peek
but found not there what he did seek
relic of a marytr'ed saint.

At eleven A.M. with sky of blue
they began to seek the relic true
They wandered off in groups of two
with a fine poem holding the clue.

But some who needed company
did bribe the judge for groups of three
And some who pleaded even more
did wander off in groups of four.

Across the campus they did romp
and on the clues they had to chomp
t'was saint irving who did comp-
pose the clue poems full of pomp.

Shunning ever relics false
to find the true and nothing else
And for their efforts they did win
fine pottery and they did grin.

At one p.m. or there about
for tournament did the heralds shout
And then began a lusty bout
the champion's foes they fled in rout.

The winner wore the baldric fine
and a fine cup to hold his wine
He became the relic's defender true
high status without much to do.

Then later in the afternoon
the minstrel's guild began to croon
Entrants sang and crowds did swoon
the theme will be announc'ed soon.

Meanwhile Scotsmen they did sneak
throughout the populace to seek
To find which gentles had their fun
by inflicting others with a pun.

T'was four o'clock when was begun
a contest both witty and fun
And songs praising saints were sung
which in two categories was won.

For some sang songs of humor bold
and others sang true songs of old
as a prize for the two winnin'
four yards each of fine white linen.

At five p.m. the heralds cried
the names of those by Scotsmen spied
And ask'ed each one to decide
if for their crimes they would be pied.

Those gentle souls who did agree
were meringued by others for a fee
But com-pun-sation did receive
a papal dispunsation lest they grieve.

The site was in the theater sylvan
with which nothing rhymes
On the campus of the U of WA
in the south east of its climes.

And visible were signs fair and bright
directing people to the site
Who donated a $2.00 fee
and reciev'ed a relic for memory.