FOSTER RUMOR MILL

Student Identity Initiative Launched

We Care A Lot!

The MBAlmer recently got their hands on this Student Identity Initiative promotional poster. This is the first poster in a series of five featuring the founding fathers of the Student Identity Initiative.

Mannetti's Balls Meet the Market

Auction Deez

Mark to market proves disastrous for Mannetti's Balls at the annual C4C auction, as market reaction deals a solid blow to future sales of balls. "I thought they would get snatched up pretty fast during the dessert auction. These balls run in my family, they are good." said a frustrated Mannetti shortly after the auction ended.

One of the auction organizers gave us an outsider's perspective of the balls. "I'm not sure any dessert table runners had the balls to bring back these balls to their table. They were a little wet, almost like they were sweaty," remarked the organizer. John claimed he spent "at least" 13 minutes making these things and even went to Pike Place Market to pick up the "Fromunda" cheese filling. "I'm not bothered by what happened here tonight," Mannetti remarked, "at the end of the day my fiance still loves my balls."

Milhouse Van Houten Graduates 4th Grade, Teaches MKTG 579

4P's Springfield Style

Milhouse Van Houten, having recently graduated 4th grade at Springfield Elementary School with a 3.62 GPA, became the youngest faculty member at the Foster School of Business. In fact, Van Houten is the youngest professor in any MBA program, ever. At the adolescent age of 12, it is only natural that Professor Van Houten would sometimes get overly excited, speak too fast, and occasionally get caught on his own words while lecturing. According to one student though, his voice only cracked four times all quarter.
"Everything is coming up Milhouse!" exclaimed the prodigy when complimented on his rapid ascension up the academic ranks. Asked how the class went, Professor Van Houten remarked, "Big boys don't drink moo-moo from a baba. They drink moo-moo from a big boy cup."
Professor Van Houten will be teaching Advanced Topics in Relationship Marketing (MKTG 592) and Tetherball (PE 102) next fall.

Rejected 2009 Class T-Shirt

The Memories

BREAKING NEWS: The MBAlmer got their hands on this rejected class T-shirt, roughly priced at $22.

2006 Peer Evaluations Now Available at Program Office

Evals and More!

The program office announced today that 2006 peer evaluations are now available and apologizes for the delay. "They've actually been sitting here for three years," Said Nancy Ma, a member of the program office. "We wondered why no students ever came by to pick them up but figured it was impossible to really say. I mean who really knows why MBA students do the things they do?" She further went on to add, "We kind of forgot about them until this spring when we decided to install a microwave under the front desk and noticed this box labeled 'peer evaluations 2006'. It turns out the students never picked them up because we forgot to send an email." She finished by saying the new microwave makes excellent frozen burritos.

The program office also added several other important announcements: For the class of 2010, 2009 winter quarter teams have been decided. The McGowan Scholarship recipient has been selected; for details please talk to your classmates. For anyone interested in finance, Finance 572 has been added for the 2009 spring quarter schedule. Finally, Barby Pearson would also like to remind students that if they plan to apply for 2009 scholarships, the deadline was three Thursdays ago.