Citing a "clear and present danger to academia," the University of Washington Strategy Department has joined other universities around the country in demanding that General Mills, maker of the popular "Lucky Charms" breakfast cereal, introduce a new geometric shape to its product no later than August, 2005.

	Above: Strategy Professors And Graduate Students Protest Outside General Mills Headquarters.

"Our discipline is in crisis," said UW Professor Warren Boeker. "We simply must have a new shape to work with, or the entire field of corporate strategy is going to stagnate."

Introduced in 1963, General Mills' breakfast cereal is a combination of sugar-covered toasted oats and colored, flavored, marshmallows that have been cut into distinct shapes. Lucky Charms initially came with four shape/color combinations: pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars and green clovers. Blue diamonds were introduced in 1975, followed by purple horseshoes (1984), red balloons (1989), balloons with stars (1991), rainbows (1992), pots of gold (1994) and finally leprechaun hats in 1996.

The academic study of corporate strategy, featuring such luminaries as Harvard's Michael Porter, relies on a steady stream of new Lucky Charms shapes to frame their theories, concepts and ideas. One of the most famous, the BCG Growth-Share Matrix, employs figures such as Stars, Question Marks, Cows and Dogs.

"This nine-year drought in new shapes could not have come at a worse time for academic strategists," said Porter, reached by telephone at his home in Boston, MA. "The dot-com roller-coaster has proven to be a fertile area for strategic study. However, without a fresh set of shapes with which to frame our findings, we cannot publish. General Mills owes it to strategists, its customers, and America to release a new shape as soon as possible."

Clayton Christensen, author of The Innovator's Dilemma echoed Porter. "I've got five years of strategic research that I'm wrangling into a manuscript. What I don't have is a shape. Unless General Mills comes out without something new, I've got no way to explain my theories."

Above: General Mills' popular breakfast cereal, "Lucky Charms."

Christenson's assertions have been confirmed through an independent investigation conducted by the MBAlmer. Indeed, the shortage of Lucky Charms shapes has resulted in a 'land grab' among prominent strategists to stake out unused geometries. Specifically:

• Dr. Jim Bowen of The University of Texas is currently engaged in a lawsuit with UCLA's Francine Maxwell over the rights to the horseshoe.

• Dr. Jennifer Jones, of the Marshall School of Business, recently published a framework based on the balloon. Many prominent academics and members of the business press have confessed that they found her shape choice "inappropriate for a conflict-based theory."

• Kevin Green, a PhD student at Berkeley, recently saw his moon-oriented strategy framework blocked from publication due to concern that it was already in use. Green is currently engaged in an exhaustive search for prior art. Legal fees alone for the search are expected to top $15,000.

"Strategic frameworks are key to understanding the world," said Boeker. "America cannot hope to remain competitive over the long term without the next star, diamond, clover, horseshoe or rainbow. For the sake of scholarship and global competitiveness, General Mills can, should, and must release a new shape to our community no later than August of this year."

Penelope Meyer, Brand Manager for Lucky Charms, was noncommittal about General Mills' plans for new shapes: "While we appreciate the deep and abiding interest in our cereal by the strategy community, it would be premature to comment on future product plans at this time."

Lucky the Leprechaun, mascot of the cereal, was equally vague. Reached for comment in his native Ireland, Lucky just giggled, saying, "They're always after me Lucky Charms."

At press time, it was unknown what, if any, course of action was being considered by UW strategy professors if the August deadline came and went. Dr. Boeker, however, was overheard muttering something about "threat of new entrants" before retreating to his office.