At a press conference Monday, MBAA Facilities Vice President David Bodmer unveiled a sweeping plan to invest $25,000 in order to convert the MBA lounge into a "phat pad that the ladies will love."

Above: The MBA lounge in its current, non-"phat" state.

The plan, long in development, seeks to "free" the venerable lounge from its legacy of incremental improvement by previous MBA classes.

"It's time to invest for the future," said Bodmer. "We can't wait for a new building to help position this school as a top-20 organization. Using funds that we currently have in the MBA budget, we can spend today to make a better tomorrow."

Added Bodmer, "Besides, it's a lounge. It's for lounging. How can a fella relax on a ratty couch?"

Under the plan, the lounge improvements would occur under an accelerated timeline between June 15 and September 1. The specific improvements include:

• A wall would be constructed on the South end of the lounge, replacing the current glass wall between the lounge and Balmer Cafe. This wall would be outfitted with power and Ethernet connectivity. It will also have a 60" Plasma television, two 19" LCD screens which tie into a laptop port and DVD player. Bodmer also expressed willingness to provide an 8-track tape player so "vintage" Barry White albums can be played.
• The current couches and chairs will be upgraded to high-quality leather. Bodmer expressed willingness to switch to pleather if "cash gets tight."
• Couches will be purchased to seat no more than two people, with an eye toward "cuddle-ability."
• A "bumpin'" sound system will be installed throughout the lounge. Bodmer claims that this will facilitate coffee breaks, impromptu gatherings, and will "raise the roof" during TGs.
• Fourteen minifridges will be purchased and placed strategically throughout the facility. Bodmer claims that student satisfaction is his top goal, here: "I want a Coke -- or a brewski -- within arms' reach of any leather chair or a sofa. It's time for the MBA Association to compete for its share of stomach."

Above: MBAA VP Bodmer.

• The glass trophy case that contains the Golden Briefcase will be replaced with a martini bar.
• Wall-to-wall shag carpet will be installed.
• The changing room in the back will be revamped and remodeled. Students will now be able to obtain free monogrammed bathrobes for "lounging."
• A massage table will be added toward the back of the cubicles, along the Northeast corner. Bodmer expressed confidence that "a deal could be reached" with Ashmead College to supply massage-therapy students, free of charge, every Thursday.
• A hot tub will be installed in the telephone room.

Bodmer expressed confidence that these modifications would help put UW "on the map" among other business schools, and also assist in recruiting efforts.

"We need to stand out, and it's time to be bold," said Bodmer. "The Class of 2005 is prepared to leave a lasting legacy for the business school and its stakeholders."