New Building Design Faces Opposition
Guerrilla student group "Men for Balmer Architecture" fights for change... (cont)

Syllabus Released for AA151
"Vodka Tuesday" becomes a Spring elective course... (cont)

MBAlmer Mailbag
We answer all your questions about the goings-on in the program... (cont)

Case Team Juicing Scandal, Kalitzki Indicted

After back-to-back-to-back wins at the Beijing, VCIC, and Wake Forest case competitions, Foster students, faculty and staff were shocked by the news that the teams have tested positive for banned performance-enhancing substances.

According to a report from the MBA Anti-Doping Agency (MBAADA), post-competition test results indicated extremely high levels of ginseng, caffeine, and B-12 in over a dozen Foster MBAs. All three substances allegedly increase energy, concentration, and the tolerance of stressful situations.

Judi Kalitzki, the head of MBA professional development, has been subsequently indicted for illegally growing ginkgo biloba after a February raid on her View Ridge estate resulted in confiscation of 300,000 kilos of the substance with a street value of over $1.2 million.

"We are obviously stunned by these surprising developments," Dan Poston said in a recent news conference, "and will work with the authorities going forward to ensure that these abuses are not repeated." No word yet on whether the MBAADA will levy fines or other sanctions on the Foster School of Business as a result of these findings, though case competition titles as far back as 2005 could be in jeopardy.

New Professorship Endowed by Reginald Well

The Foster School of Business today announced a $1.5 million gift from wealthy entrepreneur Reginald P. Well. The gift will endow a new professorship, continuing Foster's run of recent fundraising success.

Mr. Well, a graduate of the MBA Class of 1969, released the following statement. "When sitting in my first-year accounting classes, I used to dream of the idea of a Well Endowed Professor. I could picture it so clearly in my mind. Now, to see it come to fruition, it's a dream come true."

Dean Jim Jiambalvo has not yet announced which faculty member will receive the named professorship, noting only that there has been unprecedented interest among male faculty to be bestowed with this enormous honor.

Our highly-placed source in the Program Office yesterday overheard a conversation between Prof. Burgstahler and Dan Poston, where Burgstahler reportedly said, "To heck with Gerhard G. Mueller! If I'm not the next Well Endowed Professor, then Seattle University is about to up its expertise in Managerial Accounting by eight thousand percent, because I am gone!"