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Beat the Dow Jones
Two Foster Students Introduce the Baby-Backed Security
(cont)
Cap the Cap & Gown Emails
Cap & Gown Trade Sees Explosive Growth, With No Cap in Sight
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Somali Pirates Are Hiring
Get Your International Credits Out of the Way in the High Seas
(cont)
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Second Year MBAs Advised to 'Carpet Bomb' High School Job Fairs
BCC Roundup:
Giving credit to Charles Hill's 'blue ocean strategy', Bryan Tomlinson of the BCC urged MBA students to attend high school job fairs in the coming weeks. "It's a bad economy. While it's true that companies are still attending MBA job fairs, it's more of a PR stunt for them at this point. The aren't really hiring," said Tomlinson. Tomlinson mentioned an incident at the Spring Forum where he witnessed two recruiters from a local company using a stack of resumes to make the legs on their table even and less wobbly. When he confronted them about the incident they stated, "How can you expect us to play Sodoku in between student informationals with a wobbly recuriting table?" Tomlinson shared his thoughts about the high school job fair format with the MBAlmer, "We've tried the undergrad job fairs. We urge our students to show up in wife beaters and hats on backward to fit in but we still haven't had much luck stealing temp jobs away from undergrad Fish & Marine Science majors. The next logical step was to go the next level down and carpet bomb the high school job fairs with highly qualified MBAs." Tomlinson cited the Inglemoor High School job fair as a tremendous opportunity at the end of May. "There will be national firms like Cold Stone Creamery along with local giants Gregg's Bike Shop and Trophy Cupcakes," stated Btom.
In other news, the BCC is investigating several members of the class of 2009 over an alleged job Ponzi scheme. According to Paula Klempay in the BCC, a few students have devised a way to hire their student friends through an ellaborate, unethical process. In this scheme, students take on a final student loan and agree to hire their friend into a job that doesn't really exist until they can find a real job. Klempay was tipped off to the scheme after a conversation with FT '09er Fran Lalas, who asked Paula to move her name from one side of the BCC board to the other after she was hired by a little known start-up called Maryanimal Moore Pet Shops.
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SOUND BITES |
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| Heard in the Halls of Balmer High, "The economy: it's kind of like the Husky football team...somewhere between non existent and god awful." |
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| Next Year's Jewish President and Vice President Replace Vodka Tuesday with Menoshevitz Monday |
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| Derek Saam and Kevin Kirkpatrick hold FBI/Clandestine services Fireside Chat--Reveal Themselves as Undercover FEDS |
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| Admit weekend deemed a great success, "Nobody called anyone a scrawny little bitch this year" |
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| "Gold Band" brought up on honor charges after delivering a bronze performance |
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| Maryann reveals that she floats in water better this year than she did last year |
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| Rendon brings Stearns decaf by accident...students thrilled to get out only ten minutes late |
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| Surprise Visit to Pacific Raceways Finds Trevor Cobb Dressed in Tuxedo Handing Out Paper Towels in Men's Club Restroom |
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| 4th Floor Bank of America Men's Room Overtakes Basement Balmer As Best Toilet On Campus |
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| Wiley Vetoes Most Popular Class Gift Idea: Life Sized Statue of Sajan |
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| First Year MBA's Gillian and Reed bored on second time through the program |
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| Early reports indicate a "Casual Gaming" TG theme for 2 in 5 TG's next year |
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| Foosball Tip of the Quarter
If you move the foosball table during TG's the foosball gods will hate you!
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