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English Pronouns Linux Suspend Script Fortune File

English Pronoun Reform

Editor's note: This file was originally part of my old website. I wrote it on 04-Feb-2003.

Last night, I was thinking. Normally this leads to no action, as my ideas are too numerous to fit in one day. However, this time I decided to put my idea in action. I was wondering about pronouns, and specifically English pronouns. Thesis: English has too few pronouns. It only has 16:

Subject (Nominative Case)
Singular Plural
Male Female Neuter Male Female Neuter
First Person I We
Second Person You You/Y'all
Third Person He She It They
Direct Object (Accusative Case)
Singular Plural
Male Female Neuter Male Female Neuter
First Person Me Us
Second Person You You/Y'all
Third Person Him Her It Them

And then, of course, the miscellaneous that won't fit anywhere on a table:

Obviously, there is room for more. I propose that we have new pronouns, to fit with conventions and current pronouns:

Person Number Specifics Nominative Case Accusative Case
First
person
Singular I Me
Plural You and I Weym (waim) Usaym (uh-saa-yum)
Y'all and I Weysm (weigh-sum) Usaysm (uh-say-sum)
You and I and
one other person
Weymo (weigh-mo) Usamo (uh-saa-mo)
Y'all and I and
one other person
Weysmo (weigh-s'mo) Usasmo (uh-saa-s'mo)
You and I and
several other people
Weymos (weigh-muss) Usaymos (uh-say-moess)
Y'all and I and
several other people
Weysmos (weigh-s'moss) Usaysmos (uh-say-s'mos)
Second
person
Singular You You
Plural One of addressees Youo (you-oh) Yuoo (you-ooh)
Some of addressees Yous (youss) Yus (yuss)
All addressees Yousa (you-sa) Yusa (yussa)
Third Person Singular Male He Him
Female She Her
Neuter It Ita (it-uh)
Plural Male Hep Himp
Female Shep Herp
Neuter Itsp (it-spuh) Itasp (it-usp)
Generic Plural They Them

This gives us a total of 34 pronouns, not counting the ^miscellaneous ones I stated above — more than enough for any situation, and especially those long sentences which often run out of suitable pronouns.