Tami's Testimony

My Christian life has been a life of two extremes--on the one hand, being a Christian has been a great enjoyment and satisfaction to my inner being; on the other hand, it has been a great struggle. I was saved at a young age and raised in a family in which my parents and three siblings were also saved. However, for the most part my family did not make the choice to pursue Christ and a Christian walk. By the Lord's mercy, at a young age I had the clear realization that I belonged to the Lord and wanted to give my all to Him. I saw that the purpose of my salvation was not merely to be saved from hell, but rather my salvation was for the fulfillment of God's good pleasure (Eph. 1:5, 9).

I remember one particular day in junior high when I realized that because I was saved, I could never fully enjoy the temporal things of this world. At the same time, something within me cried out to the Lord with the realization that although saved, I still had not consecrated myself to Christ for Him to get His good pleasure. To continue living the life of a nominal Christian would mean that I could not fully enjoy the worldly things and the Lord could not use me to accomplish His heart's desire. Both I and the Lord would be left unsatisfied. This definite experience issued in a very deep, thorough consecration of myself to the Lord. This consecration, although the source of great inner peace and satisfaction, caused me to be misunderstood by my siblings and dad. Deep down, they saw a definite change in me and this bothered them to the uttermost. I remember crying myself to sleep many nights--crying out of sorrow for being teased and misunderstood, but even more, crying out to the Lord for my family. In the midst of my tears, I thanked the Lord time and time again for His great mercy on me--that I could be a part of His purpose and plan on the earth. Surely it is nothing of myself; it is just His great mercy upon me.

As I entered high school, my brothers told me that no one could make it all the way through loving the Lord and living a life sanctified unto Him. Needless to say, high school was a great struggle, inwardly and outwardly. With no Christian companions at school, I was forced to come to know the Lord as my real companion. As something within me would not allow me to partake of the worldly enjoyments of high school, I came to know Christ as my true enjoyment and satisfaction. After four years of struggling to live a life for the Lord, I graduated from high school last June still loving the Lord and sanctified unto Him. My graduation was a testimony to my family and friends of the Lord's mercy and faithfulness to hold us to our consecration.

This is where Christian Students Association comes into play. This year of my Christian life has been the most enjoyable yet. In CSA, I have found other students who have a heart to pursue our dear Lord Jesus. I have found no greater joy than pursuing to know and coming to love the Lord with others who have a heart for Him. The Christian life is meant to be lived "with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Tim 2:22), and I have found many of "those" in CSA. Enjoying Christ with all the other students and enjoying the Christ in them has been the highlight of my year.

As individuals, our experience of Christ can only go so far. Together we can apprehend what are "the breadth, and length, and height, and depth" of Christ (Eph. 3:17-19). Such a Christian life, pursuing to know Christ with all of the saints, is a life of the topmost enjoyment and utmost satisfaction. May the Lord bless all of us by giving us such a life!